I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
