Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
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