I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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