Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You left your phone here
Wait...
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