Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
