He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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