end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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