my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
