literally had 100 drinks last night.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
