i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
