Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Did I show you my penis last night?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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