I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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