While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
