It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
