I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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