Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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