if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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