the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
