you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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