He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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