There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
