Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
