She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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