it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
