Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I have fence marks all over my body
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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