Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Is Oprah even human
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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