Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize