Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
