i will never coherently bang her
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
