Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
