I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
