Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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