How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
