Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
