The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
