He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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