ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
this beer tastes like vomit already
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
