i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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