oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
