okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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