Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
