we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
