so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
