Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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