who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
