OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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