Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
