haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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