Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize