we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
