hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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