girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
