duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
