my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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