who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
